Sunday, August 16, 2009
|11:22 PM|

SINGAPORE, HWA CHONG INSTITUTION This is Dartebiota reporting for The Distillation Melayu once again.

Due to the overwhelming test overload for the incoming week, recognised by our Institution as Term 3 Week 8; it has been decided that the upcoming week, to which the Republic's members would find themselves in a frenzy to prepare for the last available test week, would be named as 'Operation First Overcome'.

This operation consists of a series of 4 confirmed challenging tests, and one pending test. This collection of 5 tests orginate from these subjects:
- Language Arts
- Higher Chinese
- Integrated Mathematics
- Integrated Humanities Geography
- Lower Secondary Sciences (Pending Subject)

Operation First Overcome, or in short, OFO, is the first barrier Acerians have to overcome before facing the second wave: Operation Second Overcome, which will occur in Term 4. Operation Second Overcome (also known as OSO) is recognised by the Institution as 'The End-of-Year Examinations'.

However, the Institution brings good news to the Republic. For Operation Second Overcome, it is known that for each of the 5 examinable subjects (the subjects involved are the same as those of Operation First Overcome), a maximum of 7 Acerians per subject would be exempted from this operation, thereby bringing much help to the lowering of their MSG (Mean Subject Grade).

There are requirements, however, for eligible Acerians to opt for exemption. From speculation, one has to obtain 80% in all areas (OP, ACE and Tests) accumulated over the 3 terms of the republic's fine history. Also, one cannot fail any of the test of the subject of exemption.

Due to the two upcoming overwhelming Operations, the Republic is currently planning to release a stimulus package in aid of its members. When interviewed, the Chairman of the Board of Directors, Sir Zhu Hua Ying (also known as Obaying or Huabama) has the following comments to make:

"Tzk! Eh you damn idiotic asshole leh. Huh? Come on man. Come on man. Bring it on. "

In Other News: A Slice of History
The Distillation Melayu is known as the Most Serious Paper in the world. This sidename is adopted because of the third letter in the newspaper's name: Melayu. From 'the Most Serious Paper', acronym 'MSP' can be obtained, which also stands for 'Malay Special Programme'. This newspaper's formal editor, Grassoat, is a loyal member of this programme, and hence the name of the newspaper.

We've sourced for public views on the newspaper. We approached Sir Zhu Hua Ying again. He firmly felt like this:
"Tzk! Eh you damn idiotic asshole leh. Huh? Come on man. Come on man. Bring it on. "


This newspaper was founded some 5 256 000 seconds ago, or around 2 months ago. If you have any queries, email them to aphelion_aceron@hotmail.com. More reports would be coming, so stay tuned to The Distillation Melayu, the Most Serious Paper in the World.

This is Dartebiota, reporting for the paper.